The Pause That Refreshes
If you are old enough to remember The Newlywed Game you may remember that contestants had to be married less than two years to be considered newlyweds.
Similarly I have stages that mark new motherhood. Milestones, if you will.
Obviously there is the delivery. You can't get any closer to new motherhood than delivering the baby, holding and nursing the newborn, leaving the hospital with the most precious cargo you can imagine.
But the first significant milestone is the six-week doctor visit. I am amazed a doctor can look at your hoo-ha and tell a new mom, swimming in a pool of hormones and exhaustion, that everything looks great, see you in a year!
The second is the end of the maternity leave. If you were a working mom and have to return to the workforce, this is a big one. No friend, spouse, partner, neighbor, relative should take this lightly. As a mom you have spent every waking moment with this creature, probably many sleeping moments too, and suddenly you are handing her over to someone else. Even if you were looking forward to a quiet cup of coffee or an adult conversation, you pine for that baby as if you had a crush. Whether you get six weeks or six months maternity leave, I would venture to guess you end up thinking it is never enough.
Then there is the first period after the baby. Nature's way of saying "Get over it my dear, and have another."
As my kids get older I am adding to these phases. Obviously there are many more to come. One that I noticed with both Jake and Abby is what I know call the 18-month refresh. Allow me to explain.
When Jake was about 18 months old, I remember waking up one morning thinking "I am no longer tired." I felt like a cup that was filled, like a cake fully baked. I was no longer sleepwalking through my day, getting drowsy driving the car or forgetting that my pajamas were wrapped around my waist during a trip to the grocery store.
Fast forward to this weekend. It was about 10:30 Saturday night and everybody but Jake and me was asleep. We were cuddling in his bed, talking about the movie Wall-E and I wasn't tired. I wasn't secretly wishing he'd drift off so I could go to bed too. And then I realized that this week Abby will be 18 months old. The 18-month refresh once again.
Maybe Abby is thinking the same thing: "Now that that woman lets me eat my own food and sleep in my own bed, I am doing much better."
Similarly I have stages that mark new motherhood. Milestones, if you will.
Obviously there is the delivery. You can't get any closer to new motherhood than delivering the baby, holding and nursing the newborn, leaving the hospital with the most precious cargo you can imagine.
But the first significant milestone is the six-week doctor visit. I am amazed a doctor can look at your hoo-ha and tell a new mom, swimming in a pool of hormones and exhaustion, that everything looks great, see you in a year!
The second is the end of the maternity leave. If you were a working mom and have to return to the workforce, this is a big one. No friend, spouse, partner, neighbor, relative should take this lightly. As a mom you have spent every waking moment with this creature, probably many sleeping moments too, and suddenly you are handing her over to someone else. Even if you were looking forward to a quiet cup of coffee or an adult conversation, you pine for that baby as if you had a crush. Whether you get six weeks or six months maternity leave, I would venture to guess you end up thinking it is never enough.
Then there is the first period after the baby. Nature's way of saying "Get over it my dear, and have another."
As my kids get older I am adding to these phases. Obviously there are many more to come. One that I noticed with both Jake and Abby is what I know call the 18-month refresh. Allow me to explain.
When Jake was about 18 months old, I remember waking up one morning thinking "I am no longer tired." I felt like a cup that was filled, like a cake fully baked. I was no longer sleepwalking through my day, getting drowsy driving the car or forgetting that my pajamas were wrapped around my waist during a trip to the grocery store.
Fast forward to this weekend. It was about 10:30 Saturday night and everybody but Jake and me was asleep. We were cuddling in his bed, talking about the movie Wall-E and I wasn't tired. I wasn't secretly wishing he'd drift off so I could go to bed too. And then I realized that this week Abby will be 18 months old. The 18-month refresh once again.
Maybe Abby is thinking the same thing: "Now that that woman lets me eat my own food and sleep in my own bed, I am doing much better."
posted by Romine Family at 7:45 PM
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