An Open Letter To the Jerk Who Stole My Purse

Hello. I hope you enjoyed your early morning shopping spree at Target, Office Max and Best Buy. I hope the items you purchased with my credit card bring joy and pride to you and your family. Had you spent $100 at Kroger, I might feel differently.

I also hope you are enjoying the 300 photos of my family that were on my iPhone. Maybe you've been watching the Bugs Bunny cartoons, funny videos or Wizard of Oz clips I downloaded for Abby.

While you're rummaging around my purse, can you please RSVP to the birthday party invitations that were in there? Or maybe you are too busy reading the copy of The Help I took to Jake's choir practice yesterday.

I'm sure you won't think twice when you throw away the pumpkin drawing Jake made in church yesterday or my insurance card, since it is no use to you. Or my work badge, which of course, I can reorder with a valid driver's license. Oh wait, you have that too.

Thank you you for putting me in such a sour mood. Thank you for my renewed mistrust. I will be sure to look suspiciously at everyone I don't know.

Lastly, I hope you rest well tonight. With your new big screen TV or video games or office supplies. Rest well, knowing that if by some miracle I ever find out who you are, I'm going to punch you in the face.