Hope I Die Before I Get Old

So today in the mail I got an invitation from UT Southwestern, a nearby hospital, for an upcoming plastic surgery seminar. Just in case I've been wondering if there is any way to slow down facial aging or how I can tighten my body with (or without) surgery or if there are new options to eliminate droopy eyelids, UT Southwestern and its plastic surgery experts would be happy to answer my questions during its free gathering and reception.

I have two things to say.

One. Screw you UT Southwestern.

Two. RSVP for one, please.