Little White Lies
So last night about 10:30 Jake came padding into the bedroom and asked, "Where's Felix?"
As you can guess, I hadn't told him Felix died. I haven't told Abby either because I don't think she'll ask, but Jake is a different story. These things bother him. And when it happened Saturday there were other things going on - Grandma Becky leaving, Dad coming home from a long trip, music lessons, a camp performance - and I just didn't want to rock the boat.
But last night I told him. Sort of. I told him that Saturday when I went on my morning rounds looking for Felix, I found him laying quietly next to our neighbor's koi pond (true) and that he had fallen asleep and died there, peacefully (not true). I reminded him that Felix had a great life - an outdoor cat for 8 years that never got in a cat fight, hunted birds and mice nearly until the end, and perpetually lazed about with a clowder of neighborhood cats.
Jake sobbed. Hard. He couldn't remember the last time he petted Felix. He wished I would've kept some of his fur (in his prime Felix had the thickest, silkiest long black fur). He said he wished I would've been there when Felix died so he wouldn't have died alone. I didn't retract my story. I still think it sounds better to say he drifted off staring into a fish pond, dreaming of the days when he had the strength and urge to dive in.
Jake still cried himself to sleep.
A couple months ago Sam, Jake and I were at Target. As we walked past the groceries, we heard a woman shout down the aisle, "Grandpa, can I grab you some nuts?!" Of course Sam and I giggled. Jake was furious. How dare we make fun of that man? He was someone's grandpa. What if he walked slow? What if he couldn't hear? These were all Jake's questions.
I tried to explain we weren't laughing at the man and we certainly weren't making fun, but Jake wouldn't have it. This kid, who can insult without remorse, pounce without fear, was suddenly sympathetic.
I"m not sure I will ever figure Jake out. He's going to be a cage fighter who works for the ACLU. He's going to be a Hell's Angel who grooms poodles.
He's going to sob at his daughter's wedding.
As you can guess, I hadn't told him Felix died. I haven't told Abby either because I don't think she'll ask, but Jake is a different story. These things bother him. And when it happened Saturday there were other things going on - Grandma Becky leaving, Dad coming home from a long trip, music lessons, a camp performance - and I just didn't want to rock the boat.
But last night I told him. Sort of. I told him that Saturday when I went on my morning rounds looking for Felix, I found him laying quietly next to our neighbor's koi pond (true) and that he had fallen asleep and died there, peacefully (not true). I reminded him that Felix had a great life - an outdoor cat for 8 years that never got in a cat fight, hunted birds and mice nearly until the end, and perpetually lazed about with a clowder of neighborhood cats.
Jake sobbed. Hard. He couldn't remember the last time he petted Felix. He wished I would've kept some of his fur (in his prime Felix had the thickest, silkiest long black fur). He said he wished I would've been there when Felix died so he wouldn't have died alone. I didn't retract my story. I still think it sounds better to say he drifted off staring into a fish pond, dreaming of the days when he had the strength and urge to dive in.
Jake still cried himself to sleep.
A couple months ago Sam, Jake and I were at Target. As we walked past the groceries, we heard a woman shout down the aisle, "Grandpa, can I grab you some nuts?!" Of course Sam and I giggled. Jake was furious. How dare we make fun of that man? He was someone's grandpa. What if he walked slow? What if he couldn't hear? These were all Jake's questions.
I tried to explain we weren't laughing at the man and we certainly weren't making fun, but Jake wouldn't have it. This kid, who can insult without remorse, pounce without fear, was suddenly sympathetic.
I"m not sure I will ever figure Jake out. He's going to be a cage fighter who works for the ACLU. He's going to be a Hell's Angel who grooms poodles.
He's going to sob at his daughter's wedding.
posted by Romine Family at 8:26 PM
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