Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Time, Time, Time ... See What's Become of Me

So when you have a 13 year old you find yourself in situations that make you feel old. Normally, I would say I don't feel old - except for the odd pain and creak here and there. In my head I'm the 17 year old from high school. But with a 13 year old you are reminded that although you feel 17, you are not. You may still love rock music but why does it have to be so loud. You like spontaneity - at the right time and place. You don't mind staying up late ... if you can nap the next day. You envy a diet of Fritos and Dr Pepper but really shouldn't because  ....

But the thing that makes me feel old is butting heads with a 13-year-old boy. Arguments that sound stodgy and intolerant and boring. Because I said so. Because I know better. I shouldn't have to remind you. If you only knew. When I was your age.

Ugh. I'm not sure parenting would be so hard if it didn't age you so. Suddenly there's a huge chasm between you and this person - this little person you birthed and bathed and swaddled and rocked. This little person who thought you hung the moon. Who ran to you with such excitement at the end of the day. Now this kid is saying things you don't hear in a Quentin Tarantino movie and on one hand, you understand. You really do. You were there. You were THERE. But on the other hand, Jesus, kid. I know better. Listen to me. I'm telling you BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER.

Do I let it go? Do I listen quietly and respond calmly and rationally? Do I take away every luxury the kid has and banish him to his bedroom? Do I ignore it because I went through the same thing and here I am.

I don't know.

One thing I do know. A 13-year-old kid isn't the only one with growing pains. Every time I react as a 46 year old, my heart cracks a little. Another wrinkle creases my forehead. Another age spot darkens my hand.

So, Sam. I'm doing the best I can. You are doing the best you can. While the world is shaking and crumbling and rebuilding around us can we just remember that underneath it all is good. Good intentions. Smart minds. Full, bursting hearts.

It's going to get harder. But I have faith it's also going to get easier.