Thou Givest and Thou Taketh Away

Kids can do wonders for your self esteem. The first time your baby looks at you, really looks at you, you feel like the most important person in the world. When your toddler cradles your face in his tiny dimply hands and tells you you're the best mom in the world, there's a piece of you that believes him. You make the best meatloaf, you sing the best songs, you know the best bedtime stories.

And then there are the times when you are told, usually loudly, often in a public place, that you've got a chubby belly or stuff in your nose. A kid's affection can lift you up, but his subtle and perceptive criticism can quickly bring you down.

We've been going to our church for 12 years now so any given Sunday, after church concludes, there is a lot of chit chat with friends and pew mates. How big the kids are getting, how hot the summer has been, how fast time goes by. It is the definition of small talk.

This past Sunday I was chatting with a grandmother whose granddaughters have all been in my Sunday school class. When we finished talking and went our own way Abby asked me, "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That laugh and snort thing."

"What laugh and snort thing?"

"After everything you say you laugh twice, then snort."

"I do not."

But then I started to listen to myself. And this is what I heard:

"Are your kids excited for Halloween?"

"I think Abby is, but I don't think the boys really care." LAUGH LAUGH SNORT!

"How does Sam like choir?"

"He really enjoys it. He's learning a lot from the choir conductor." LAUGH LAUGH SNORT!

"Aren't you glad we are finally seeing fall weather?"

"Yes! I think this is the best time of year here." LAUGH LAUGH SNORT!

Abby was right. That night as I was tucking her in I told her I'd decided to just keep my mouth shut.

"Not a bad idea," she said. "Especially since you have bad breath."