Questions

My friend Cindy forwarded a list of questions posed to kids at Mother's Day. This afternoon, after school, I asked Sam the same questions.

1. Why did God make mothers?
So you could make babies and there could be a Mother's Day.

2. What are mothers made of?
Oil, flowers, eyeballs, string

3. Why did God give you me as a mom?
Because you made me and I'm yours.

4. What kind of a little girl was I?
You played blocks with Grandma Becky. You had blond hair and a little mouth.

5. What did I need to know about Dad before I married him?
You needed to know his name. And if he drank beer and had friends.

6. Why did I marry daddy?
So he didn't get left out.

7. Who's the boss at our house?
Daddy, because he's the biggest.

8. What's the difference between moms and dads?
Dads barely have boobs, and moms have huge boobs. (Clearly he's not referring to me.)

9. What do I do in my spare time?
Go to hotels, get on airplanes and shop. (Again, clearly he's not referring to me.)

10. What would it take to make me perfect?
You would buy us toys all the time.

11. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
Your clothes because I don't think they're perfect. They should have fancy stuff like flowers, kitty cats and trees.