Halfway
When Sam turned 9 in December my mom reminded me that in just as many years he'll be 18.
18.
Driving. Considering college. Maybe dating.
Which brings me to, coincidentally, my nephew Tyler. Today is his 18th birthday. I only know what I know about Tyler from my mom and my sister, his mother. Tyler's a smart kid, athletic. Tall in a way you can never anticipate when your son is a child. He also has spectacular taste in music. And he is hard on his mom. A mom who wants nothing but success and comfort for him. A mom who happens to be extremely patient, kind, funny and smart.
I suppose it's a natural progression - for a teenager to become disenchanted with his parents, his family. Otherwise, he might never leave. But the further I get from my teenage years and the closer I get to, uh, the non-teenage years, the more it seems that the last place an 18-year-old boy needs to be is in a college, far away from home.
After all, is there anything more confused, confusing, dumb, smart and confident as an 18-year-old boy? All those qualities meld into a creature that doesn't want to listen to anybody, lest someone tell them they aren't prepared, aren't ready.
I think the crux of the impasse is that at 18 you just don't know what you don't know. And there are those of us who think it is our job (and as moms, it kind of is) to introduce you to what you don't know with as little nagging and preaching as possible. Believe it or not, we don't like to nag or preach. But we also don't want you to make mistakes or get hurt. And if along the way you find something we say interesting or savvy, well, that would be good too.
But if you take away only one thing, please know that we all love you.
And we are freaked out that you are 18.
18.
Driving. Considering college. Maybe dating.
Which brings me to, coincidentally, my nephew Tyler. Today is his 18th birthday. I only know what I know about Tyler from my mom and my sister, his mother. Tyler's a smart kid, athletic. Tall in a way you can never anticipate when your son is a child. He also has spectacular taste in music. And he is hard on his mom. A mom who wants nothing but success and comfort for him. A mom who happens to be extremely patient, kind, funny and smart.
I suppose it's a natural progression - for a teenager to become disenchanted with his parents, his family. Otherwise, he might never leave. But the further I get from my teenage years and the closer I get to, uh, the non-teenage years, the more it seems that the last place an 18-year-old boy needs to be is in a college, far away from home.
After all, is there anything more confused, confusing, dumb, smart and confident as an 18-year-old boy? All those qualities meld into a creature that doesn't want to listen to anybody, lest someone tell them they aren't prepared, aren't ready.
I think the crux of the impasse is that at 18 you just don't know what you don't know. And there are those of us who think it is our job (and as moms, it kind of is) to introduce you to what you don't know with as little nagging and preaching as possible. Believe it or not, we don't like to nag or preach. But we also don't want you to make mistakes or get hurt. And if along the way you find something we say interesting or savvy, well, that would be good too.
But if you take away only one thing, please know that we all love you.
And we are freaked out that you are 18.
posted by Romine Family at 9:51 AM
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