Excuses

I went into Home Depot the other day and was bombarded by Christmas music, Christmas trees, lights and decorations. And all I could think was I have to get my head on straight before the holidays or I will be miserable. I will make the kids miserable. I will ruin their Christmas.

I don't have a good reason for not posting for two months. Nearly every day I think of something I'd like to write down - goodness knows I won't remember it 24 hours from now - and then I don't. And next thing I know I'm in bed at night thinking, I forgot to write it down. Just another thing to add to my intimidating, unrealistic 3-page to-do list.

The only thing I can say is that for some reason I feel very overwhelmed right now. And when I feel that way, my modus operandi is to just shut down. Shut down everything. When I feel I have too much to do, I don't do any of it. The house is falling apart, I feel I'm clinging to my job, I'm ignoring volunteer responsibilities, I can't get organized. The only thing I've done in the past two months is perfect my online Solitaire.

But, as I said, with Christmas right around the corner, I need to get in the right frame of mind. I don't have to go holiday cheese balls-out, but I need to feel the spirit.

I really need to feel the spirit.