S Is For ...

So anyone within a 50-mile radius has heard about Jake's troubles at school this year. For whatever reason he didn't click with his teachers. In fact, he clashed. Day after day after day. Most of the time I sided with the teachers because I couldn't imagine a professional teacher would really hold a grudge against a student. And because when I was Jake's age we knew a lot of teachers, my mom worked in a school, and I just always felt you treated them with respect and reverence.

But Jake didn't see it that way. He thought his teachers were out to get him. He thought they ignored him and when they didn't ignore him, they treated him unfairly. It created a lot of angst at home, and from the look on his teacher's face at the end of most days, a lot of angst at school too.

As the year closes, the kids bring home a lot of art work and stories. Yesterday Jake brought home his third-grade memory book. It is heartbreaking. In his self-portrait he drew himself in a "I ♥ Peanuts" shirt. On the 'write a great memory' page he wrote "I don't have one because my teachers don't like me." And in the accompanying drawing he is crying. What did he learn? How to get in trouble. When was he helpful? Never because my teachers don't call on me or won't let me help. His proudest moment? The night he thought his teachers would accept his help. And finally his acrostic poem:

S: so boring

C: can't have fun

H: hurts so bad

O: OMG, I want to go home

O: Owen can deal with the teachers because they like him

L: Loving (not)

I wish I had trusted him a little more instead of thinking he was delusional. I wish he would've found the unconditional support a struggling third grader needs. I wish I realized he was hurting that bad and done something about it.

For the past couple of weeks we've been telling Jake to just hold on, he's almost there. He can put this year behind him and he'll never have to see his teacher again. In fact, he changes schools next year. A clean slate. I have such hopes for him next year. And such fears.