I've Been Found Out

Ever since I rear-ended Sam's teacher in the school parking lot, I've noticed how distracted I am when I drive. (Kind of ironic to be distracted by how distracted I am but ...). I've caught myself almost backing into a concrete girder in my work parking lot and a shopping cart at the grocery store.

So last night as we were driving home I was paying more attention to the road and traffic (not a bad thing, I realize) all the while trying to maintain a conversation with Sam about chocolate. He'd been given a mini-Mr. Goodbar on his way out of school. Actually both Sam and Jake got one but I was really trying to downplay the existence of the candy bars in hopes they would both forget about them since Jake couldn't eat his (peanuts, in case I have never mentioned it).

But Sam wouldn't let sleeping chocolate lie. "When can I eat it? Can I eat it now? Should I save it for after dinner? What if I wait until Jake is asleep?"

It's no wonder that very soon the chocolate began to melt in his over-excited little hand. I tried to tell him it wasn't that big of deal, that we could put it in the fridge when we got home and he would be able to eat it once it hardened. But it took me about 10 city blocks to get this out. I could tell he was growing impatient with me when he interrupted my stammering to say, "You don't really know what you're doing, do you?"

Things That Make You Go Hmmm?

These are snippets of actual conversations that took place in our house last night. You might be surprised at who actually said what ... and to whom.

1. You're a fatback!

2. What are you doing to my buns?

3. My favorite thing is work.

4. Get your feet off my cheese.

5. You look stupid.

6. I lost a nipple.

7. Touch me with your feet.