Deception
For Christmas I asked for and got Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook, Deceptively Delicious. The premise is that you can still feed your kids mac and cheese and nuggets and cookies and pancakes, but with her help you can make it with pureed carrots and broccoli and cauliflower. They get a meal they love, you get them to eat vegetables. Win win, right?
After flipping through the cookbook I chose spaghetti pie for the first recipe. It was basically a cooked spaghetti made with carrots and broccoli, both of which had to be steamed and pureed in order to fool your kids.
My first problem - I hate food processors. I think, in general, you need degrees in engineering and architecture to use them. They also are loud and a pain to clean. But since you can't puree vegetables by hand, you need a food processor.
Second problem - I stink in the kitchen. I was never a good cook but I've only gotten worse. And to prove it - I started a fire on the stove steaming the broccoli (Top Chef here I come!). After disabling the fire alarm and cleaning up the fire mess I decided to steam the carrots in the microwave.
I have to admit the rest of the recipe was easy, and after baking 25 minutes it was done. My spaghetti pie, however, looked nothing like Mrs. Seinfeld's spaghetti pie. It looked like I had dumped a can of SpaghettiO's and water in a dish, covered it with mozzarella and warmed it up. I thought it sucked. The kids ate it, several helpings in fact, which should be the point. But in the end, all it did was make me dislike Jessica Seinfeld. Her and her stupid cookbook.
As I was cleaning up that night I was flipping through the prologue, written of course by the Jessica, the homemaker. It contained tips on how to stave off your kids' hunger (set out a plate of crudites promptly at 5:30) and how to make them behave at the table (serve dinner promptly at 6 and no toys!). It also offered some oh-so-helpful tips for when you absolutely have to dine out with your kids (try eating at a diner with booths; the atmosphere and other diners will be more forgiving).
The next time I run into Jessica Seinfeld eating with her brood at a diner I have a few things I'd like to say to her.
After flipping through the cookbook I chose spaghetti pie for the first recipe. It was basically a cooked spaghetti made with carrots and broccoli, both of which had to be steamed and pureed in order to fool your kids.
My first problem - I hate food processors. I think, in general, you need degrees in engineering and architecture to use them. They also are loud and a pain to clean. But since you can't puree vegetables by hand, you need a food processor.
Second problem - I stink in the kitchen. I was never a good cook but I've only gotten worse. And to prove it - I started a fire on the stove steaming the broccoli (Top Chef here I come!). After disabling the fire alarm and cleaning up the fire mess I decided to steam the carrots in the microwave.
I have to admit the rest of the recipe was easy, and after baking 25 minutes it was done. My spaghetti pie, however, looked nothing like Mrs. Seinfeld's spaghetti pie. It looked like I had dumped a can of SpaghettiO's and water in a dish, covered it with mozzarella and warmed it up. I thought it sucked. The kids ate it, several helpings in fact, which should be the point. But in the end, all it did was make me dislike Jessica Seinfeld. Her and her stupid cookbook.
As I was cleaning up that night I was flipping through the prologue, written of course by the Jessica, the homemaker. It contained tips on how to stave off your kids' hunger (set out a plate of crudites promptly at 5:30) and how to make them behave at the table (serve dinner promptly at 6 and no toys!). It also offered some oh-so-helpful tips for when you absolutely have to dine out with your kids (try eating at a diner with booths; the atmosphere and other diners will be more forgiving).
The next time I run into Jessica Seinfeld eating with her brood at a diner I have a few things I'd like to say to her.
posted by Romine Family at 10:34 AM
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