Hit Me Baby One More Time

When Sam got in the car today he told me he'd had the 'worst day ever.'

"Why is that?"

"Well, there are at least 10 reasons why. I can only remember three."

"OK. Start with the first one."

"My friend Eberto gave me a quarter and at lunch I passed the pencil machine and when you pass the pencil machine you can't go back."

"Can you get a pencil tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Then let's consider that one solved. Second reason?"

"I forgot my Chapstick and my lips are really chapped."

"OK. We'll be sure to pack extra in your backpack. Next?"

"I got an orange today and couldn't go outside for recess." (Each day he gets a green, yellow, orange or red to indicate what kind of day he had - I think you can guess what orange means.)

"And why did you get an orange?"

"During Gym I almost punched Joseph in the batteries."

As boys might do, Sam and Jake spend a lot of time trying to kick each other in the testicles. And they spend almost as much time creating new words for testicles. This is where my sarcastic, flippant sense of humor doesn't help. Case in point, one day last week someone kicked a soccer ball into Sam's groin, accidentally, during recess. His response? "Oh, my cubes!"

His teacher's response? "Sam, where did you hear that?"

Sam's reply? "My mom!!!"