Priceless

Four tickets to Star Wars In Concert: $140
One parking pass: $35
One cheeseburger on disposable bamboo plate: $13
Two hot dogs: $14
One glass of wine in commemorative Dallas Cowboys Inaugural Season glass: $20
Seeing the new Texas Stadium: pricey

Bottom Three

I took Tag the Dog on a much-needed walk yesterday to pick the boys up from school. While they were excited to see me and the dog, they both were more interested in the bags I was carrying.

"Geesh you guys, it's dog poop," I told them. Tag had sufficiently utilized all the bags I'd brought along. I told the boys we'd have to look the other way if Mother Nature called on the way home.

"Ew. Did you have to pick it up with your hands?" Sam asked.

"No. I turn the bag inside out, use it like a glove and pick up the poop that way. Even so, it's not my favorite thing to do."

"I think it would be my LEAST favorite thing to do," Sam said. "Second least favorite - peeing my pants. Third least favorite - a poke in the eye with something sharp. Picking up poop, peeing my pants, poke in the eye. Yep, those would be my three least favorite things."

I can't say I disagree with him.

Belated

Thursday, October 1 was Jake's fifth birthday. And for reasons I'll go into in a minute, we celebrated across five states and five days. But I still feel like we let him down a little. After all, 5. Kind of a milestone birthday.

We had cake and presents for him here on Wednesday because on his actual birthday we were en route to Detroit for my brother-in-law's wedding. It was a true family affair: Bryon was the best man, Jake was the ring bearer, Abby was the flower girl and Sam read a passage from the Velveteen Rabbit. My job was to walk fast, carry a lot of stuff and develop as many blisters and shin splints as possible.

I think we told everyone from baggage check to flight attendant to the woman in 24A that it was Jake's birthday and wasn't he lucky, he was on an airplane for his birthday on his way to a wedding where he was the ring bearer. And what an important job, ring bearer, because the bride and groom couldn't marry without the rings. I think we were trying to convince ourselves as much as Jake.

Now I know little girls in frilly dresses can be adorable, but you put a little guy in a tuxedo and I gush. Maybe it's because you don't want a little girl to look attractive, but a little boy can look so handsome. And the way that Sam stood around, hands jammed in his pockets, you would've thought he was talking sports with his buddies.

After a whirlwind of activities we made it home late Sunday. And I knew Monday would be tough. I literally dragged an ice cube across Jake's face to wake him up. And I think he held on as long as he could because the minute I picked him up at school - literally the minute - he lost it. He lost it good. For about 2 hours. Part of his complaint, "I never really got a birthday." Maybe he's very very wise and knew just what to say to cut me to the bone. Or maybe he was so tired he was saying whatever came to his mind. But, like a lot of things in little Jakey's world, he may've got the short end of the stick on his fifth birthday.

So Jakey. My little porcupine. I'm sorry. Just wait until next year.