Day-Oh

So the kids and I had yesterday off. I turned my computer on only long enough to set up an out of office message and away we went. Sam had spent Sunday night with a friend so it was just Jake, Abby and me. And while Abby can often be left out when Jake and Sam are together, when it's just Abby and Jake, it can be great. She can be silly in a way that Jake appreciates but Sam finds mildly annoying, and if Jake is nice to her, she would follow him into battle.

We started off with a movie at our favorite movie theater - loved because it has no seats, only bean bag chairs and sofas. By the time the movie was over the euphoria turned into fist fights, insults and tears. Even more so when they found out I wasn't going to take them to lunch. (Yes, Jake is cursing and Abby is sobbing so let's stop off for a bit of lunch.)

For the next TWO hours Jake yelled and screamed and cried and stomped because we didn't go out to eat. Even though he stayed put in his room, he calmed down long enough to remind me he wanted a new home. He wanted a nice mom. He hated Abby. And he wanted to eat at a restaurant because I make bad lunches. (That one actually hurt ... because it's true. I'm a terrible cook.)

Any other day I would've let meltdown slide into exhaustion, then guilt, then repentance, but lucky me, all three kids had their annual doctor visits yesterday afternoon. So after picking Sam up from his friends we all trekked to the pediatrician. I'm surprised the doctor didn't call CPS. Jake had swollen, puffy eyes from his temper tantrum. Abby had fallen asleep in the car and her face was red and sweaty, and Sam, exhausted after 2 days of outdoor play, looked like he was one minute from falling asleep. (He also had his shirt on backwards and his hair, shoes and clothes were full of grass.)

Every year when I make their appointments I think I'll just knock it out in one visit. Get it over with. And then we go, and I remember why that's not such a good idea. All of us crammed into a tiny room. All of us anticipating vaccinations, giggling over peeing in a cup. And, on this particular visit, add embarrassment for me because the kids were so dirty. I guess I just missed it earlier, but once we were all confined I noticed the snot in Abby's nose, the crusty ketchup on Jake's cheek (from my inedible lunch), the dirt on Sam's feet and fingernails.

Like so many memories all of it sounds trivial today, but yesterday, I felt like I was completely out of control. I couldn't wait to get the kids in bed and take a hot shower. Tomorrow's another day I kept telling myself. Another opportunity to be a better parent. To be patient. To get my feet under me and keep marching.

And sure enough by 10 p.m. I felt a little better, well enough that Bryon and I actually shared a few laughs about the day.

And then I got up this morning to a flat tire and a dead, mangled pigeon on my doorstep.

Valentine's Wish

So Sam decided yesterday at 2:30 that he wanted to hand out valentines. I didn't want to dissuade him but I wasn't sure how fourth graders - fourth grade boys that is - would react to valentines. Not only that, but have you ever shopped for masculine valentines the day before Valentine's Day?

In the end we made up 25 valentines using brown paper bags, red string and stickers of a Ninja holding a bloody heart ... to appeal to the aforementioned fourth grade boys. In addition to his backpack, lunch sack and book bag, he proudly lugged his 25 paper sacks along with him this morning.

So, Cupid or St. Valentine or Jesus or Ryan Gosling, whoever is the patron saint of Valentine's Day, please don't let anyone make fun of Sam. Please let his friends receive his valentines with appreciation not giggles. Please let his little, sweet heart remain unbroken today.

Moving Up

So today Abby and I turned in her kindergarten paperwork. Yes, next August Abby will be a kindergartner. I know she's excited for 'big school.' Me? I'm cautiously optimistic. For whatever reason she just seems younger, smaller than the boys did when they started kindergarten. I feel much more protective of her.

Maybe I'm just not ready for the cattiness and the drama that comes with little girls. And boy, can I see it coming. I swear we were not like that as little girls, but then again, we adored Laura Ingalls Wilder and Jessica McClintock dresses, not Miley Cyrus and Juicy sweatpants.

But, Abby's excited. Excited to share the halls with her brother. Excited for the playground. Excited to read books. The biggest hurdle, besides the adjustment in her schedule, is the school uniform. As I got her dressed today I explained that next year she'll wear a uniform, just like her brothers. Just like every other boy and girl at big school.

"But mine will be pink, right?"

Thank You ... I Think

Yesterday morning Abby serenaded me with a lovely song that featured Jesus, Santa, cats, dogs, parents, children and horses living happily together. It was accompanied by a spontaneous dance and ended with "Why can't we all be friends?"

Then she climbed on my lap to tell me how much she loved me.

"Even when you make mistakes," she said.