Unhappy Medium

So this week we started a new task/reward system for the boys. It's really nothing original; we have several tasks we'd like the boys to do every day, without us asking, and when they do them, they will get a point. Points add up to stickers and stickers mean rewards.

I will be the first to admit that our previous versions of this system probably failed because they were way too time consuming for me. It's exhausting following the boys around, making sure they pick up socks, put away shoes, clean dinner dishes. I would just as soon do it myself.

Which leads to my current impasse. Nearly every day I work from home and/or the office from about 7:30 to 2:30 when I pick up the boys. Although I'm on the clock until 5:30, I often spend those afternoon hours negotiating fights, fixing snacks, nagging about homework and starting dinner. After dinner, clean up.

And here is where my family and I are at odds. Here is where I am completely disenchanted. Here is where I spend the next 90 minutes tidying the house, finishing laundry, making sure uniforms are ready for the next day, homework is in the backpack, pets are fed, kids are bathed, teeth are brushed. And yes, on most nights, when the boys go to bed at 8:30 and Abby gets into bed shortly after, I too, go to bed and read or watch TV.

But apparently my family thinks I should forgo all these nighttime rituals, kick my feet up and watch Destroy Build Destroy until bedtime. While, yes, I would love to do this, I would love to spend downtime with my kids, I firmly believe some things have to get done. If they don't, they pile up and after a very short time, the sink is full, all the dishes are dirty, we have no clean clothes and every single toy, shoe and coat is sprawled throughout the house.

But here's the catch. Nobody but me cares if it gets done. So while I could say I will ignore these nightly tasks for the next few days, no one will care. I will be the one who will break down and pick up the wet towels and orphaned socks and empty the overflowing garbage cans.

And I'll get nothing but criticism for it.

Truth In Advertising

You know why they call them Beanie Babies?

Because they are full of beans, small beans. Beanies, if you will. And once a Beanie Baby is punctured, these beans pour out like water. Then they roll under the closest piece of furniture or embed themselves into the shaggest of carpets. They are impervious to vacuums, brooms and dustpans.

They are evil and ingenious.

A Tale of Two Outages

The following two stories are true.

Story One:

So Thursday we had a record snowfall. By the time I picked the boys up from school, it was coming down fast and steady. A couple hours later school was canceled for the next day. We made a snowman in the front yard, tried some sledding, threw some snowballs, and had a comforting dinner of soup and grilled cheese. Jake and Abby were in bed early so they weren't awake when the power went out about 9 p.m. It was oddly peaceful. The house was so quiet without any appliances or gadgets humming, no heater clicking on. But it was also unusually bright, with the reflection of the snow.

Sam and I lit some candles and read The Invention of Hugo Cabret until he was asleep. I added some blankets to Abby's bed and assumed that between her, me and the extra blankets we would stay warm. Around 1 Jake got up to use the bathroom and when he realized he couldn't turn on any lights, he stood by Abby's bed and screamed. I tried to get him into bed, but he wouldn't sleep in a pink bed. He finally got in bed with Bryon and Sam. Between Sam's kicking and Jake's coughing, Bryon retreated to the couch. Since it was cold all the barnyard animals decided to get in bed with me. Between a dog and two cats, there was little room for Abby and me.

We woke up to no power and a much colder house. Our excitement for a day without school quickly dissolved. Bryon and Jake managed to get the car out of the driveway to get some breakfast. Sam was listless and weak. By the time Bryon returned with breakfast Sam had vomited on my bed and Abby's.

Bryon, Jake and Abby ate, dressed and left for the mall, McDonald's, whatever destination would keep them warm and away from the house. I stripped the beds, added two comforters to my bed and Sam and I spent the next few hours there. He slept. We read. I stared.

When Bryon returned several hours later we warmed up the van (which was stuck in the driveway behind a snow drift), and put in a movie and the kids so we could pack.

Since it was NBA All-Star weekend here in Dallas, we had trouble finding a local hotel. The nearest one was in Irving, about 20 miles away. By the time we arrived I was frazzled and impatient and lukewarm.

I will be the first to admit I was a complete wet blanket at the hotel. The kids wanted to run from room to room, play with the phones, call the front desk, play video games, watch pay-per-view, play hide and seek and I wanted to lay in the fetal position in a corner. At one point, during a dull hide and seek game, I actually hid in the shower, where no one could find me, for 7 minutes. The kids considered it a good hiding spot. I considered it a respite.

All I could think about was keeping everyone occupied for the next few hours. And the sour piles of laundry awaiting me at home. And Tag the Dog and the new kitten. And our 50+ fish. And the birthday party we were supposed to go to, and Sam's choir performance Sunday morning.

The next morning, the boys were up early. Earlier than any week day. Rather than wake everyone else up, I dressed and drove the boys home to check on the power and stop for breakfast. The power was still off, and we had lost a few fish. I grabbed Bryon's power cord, a couple books and toys for the kids and we left again.

Now, the only stretch of country that does not contain a McDonald's is the 20-mile drive from our house to the hotel. So instead of McDonald's pancakes we joined Bryon and Abby and ate in the hotel ... again.

Bryon called around and found a hotel closer to home. He dropped Abby and me off at the mall so he could take the boys to a birthday party in our neighborhood. Several hours later, when the party was over, our power was back on. Bryon picked Abby and me up at the mall. We got Mexican food takeout, made up pallets for the kids, took hot baths, turned on the Olympics and waited for the weekend to catch up with us.

Sometimes I feel cursed.

Story Two:

So Thursday we had a record snowfall. By the time I picked the boys up from school, it was coming down fast and steady. A couple hours later school was canceled for the next day. We made a snowman in the front yard, tried some sledding, threw some snowballs, and had a comforting dinner of soup and grilled cheese. Jake and Abby were in bed early so they weren't awake when the power went out about 9 p.m. It was oddly peaceful. The house was so quiet without any appliances or gadgets humming, no heater clicking on. But it was also unusually bright, with the reflection of the snow.

Sam and I lit some candles and read The Invention of Hugo Cabret until he was asleep. I moved into Abby's bed, and along with Tag the Dog, Felix the Cat and Finn the Kitten we stayed surprisingly warm. Thankfully, everyone slept a little later than usual, and Bryon volunteered to brave the snow for breakfast. We bundled in layers of pajamas and robes and hovered around the breakfast burritos, cinnamon rolls, hot chocolate and hot coffee.

Sam had been queasy since he woke up so he and I piled on comforters and snuggled in the big bed reading Island of the Blue Dolphins and napping while Bryon, Sam and Abby killed time at the mall and McDonald's.

Even though it was NBA All-Star weekend we found a hotel with connecting rooms that was only about 20 miles from home. The kids were excited to be in a hotel and found plenty to play with, from the telephones to the sliding closet doors to the bouncy beds. Between the two rooms there were plenty of good hide and seek spots.

Room service offered something for everyone - mac and cheese, pizza, pasta, chocolate milk and wine, all served on a big round table with a white tablecloth and napkins.

After hot baths, TV and books, the kids fell asleep early. The boys had their own beds. Abby had plenty of room between Bryon and me in a king-sized bed. I finally got to watch New Moon and still managed to be asleep by 10:30.

Even though our power was still off the next morning everyone found something they liked on the hotel's breakfast menu - pancakes, sausage, bacon, muffins, good coffee and more chocolate milk. And soon after breakfast we were happy to find a hotel closer to home and church.

Despite our lack of electricity or clean clothes, Bryon dropped Abby and me at the mall so the boys could go to a friend's birthday party. And since the party was near our house Bryon was able to run home during the party and found the power back on.

So while Abby and I ate and shopped our way through the mall (think Starbucks, Godiva samples, Orange Cup) Bryon started the laundry and ran the dishwasher. Thankfully Tag the Dog, Felix, Black Cat and Phineas were all safe. Hungry and needy, but safe. And despite the cold, we only lost half our fish.

Several hours later Bryon and the boys picked us up at the mall and we returned to a warm, clean house. We got Mexican food takeout, made up pallets for the kids, took hot baths, turned on the Olympics and looked forward to a good night's sleep at home.

Sometimes I feel blessed.

Melting

We are snowed in, without power. No school, no work. Early this morning Sam started vomiting. I think I can safely say the charm of yesterday's record snowfall is fading. To bad I can't say the same about the snow.

More White Stuff

The weather is supposed to get worse overnight, but right now, everyone is nearly giddy. The golf course near our house was busy with people building snowmen, having snowball fights and taking slow, cautious walks. The grocery store was packed with nervous buyers who were all too willing to talk about the snow. And the kids at the boys' school ignored frozen hands and feet to make snow angels and throw snowballs.

The White Stuff

We are having the most lovely, slow, peaceful, heavy snowfall today. Our last snowfall, on Christmas Eve, was more of a blizzard - icy, pelting, horizontal snow and sleet. I can't help staring at the stillness of today - the skeletal trees, the smooth yards, the coin-sized flakes - and gearing up for the snowball fight that will have to happen when the boys get home from school.

Thick Skinned

Let me start by saying I love my ob/gyn. She is compassionate, gentle, and after all, she brought my three kids into this world. Hers was the first face they saw.

This week I had my yearly exam. She doesn't talk much during the breast exam. I would guess it's a little like patting your head and rubbing your stomach - it helps to concentrate. It's hard to make witty banter while examining someone breasts.

During the pelvic exam, however, please chit chat. Despite my willingness to talk about anything to take my mind off what is actually happening - I blather endlessly about my kids, my sister, cookies, Christmas - I was a little taken aback when she started my exam with, "It's good to see you've put on a few pounds."

I think she could tell I was disappointed and she immediately backtracked. But I have to say, it worked. I don't remember a thing about the exam.

And then today ... I was in Target looking at the Boots cosmetics. The Boots representative asked me if I needed help and I asked her to explain the difference between three "rejuvenating" creams.

"This one has Retinol so I don't recommend it if you don't like Retinol or haven't used it before. And this one, this one I recommend for my 25-35 year old clients. So I think you would want this one," she said as she handed me the third choice.

The choice for the 35+ crowd with fat pelvises, apparently.