Bandits

For several summers now raccoons have been coming in through our cat door and eating all the Iams they can get their little nimble fingers on. They lick the food bowls clean, wash their food in the water bowls, and occasionally steal powdered sugar, brown sugar, marshmallows or nuts, whatever they can get in the pantry. (Apparently they like to bake cakes.) They come in after 9:30, sometimes in pairs, and once in awhile they share the kitchen with our cats.

After the first raccoon was trapped and euthanized by the city, I decided I would start my own catch and release program. I have since trapped and released three raccoons. Bryon thinks I have captured only one and it keeps coming back, vengeful and hungry. In any case, at all hours of the day and night, in various stages of undress, I have loaded an angry raccoon into my car, driven to the nearby Trinity River and let it go. The first one stayed in the cage, stunned by the daylight. The second one bounded out of sight. The third one moved slowly. When he reached the edge of the woods, he turned around, lifted his tiny hand and gave me the peace sign.

Not really. But that's how I like to remember it.

This photo taken at 9:30 last night.

Sweet Dreams

After an inconsistent few weeks and a truly chaotic Sunday night, everyone slept through the night last night. Jake, 8:30 to 5:30. Sam, 9:30 to 7:30. No matter how much you love your kids and want to spend time with them, you are overjoyed when they sleep like that. Or at least I am. But then again, Bryon says I have an unnatural affection for and obsession with sleep.

If it weren't for Black Cat, who every morning at 5 persuades me to get out of bed and go downstairs to confirm that, yes, his bowl is full of food, I would've slept all night long too.

Wrong Side of the Bed

Sam has had a couple of bad mornings. Yesterday I flushed the toilet for him. Apparently a big no-no. This morning, let's see, it could've been Jake got pancakes and he didn't, or that he got syrup on his 'webs' (between his fingers in Sam-speak), or that he wanted to wear dirty socks to school. Whatever it was, both yesterday and today we have left the house in tears (Sam, not me, but I've been close).

After we'd been on the road about five minutes today I turned down the radio and asked Sam to tell me what had happened that set him off. (I know that he isn't getting enough sleep but that is a different story ...). He paused for a second, sighed and said, "OK, let me tell you the truth."

Ego Boost

Sam has never seen me in a pair of shorts. First of all I don't own any but moreover I would just prefer to wear a dress. Call me old-fashioned. But while cleaning out a closet the other day I found a pair of shorts that must be 5 years old. So when Sam wanted to go for a walk yesterday, our hottest day on record (103 degrees) mind you, I put them on. When Sam saw me he said, "I like your shorties. You're fashion!" I'll take my compliments where I can get 'em.

Tree Trunks

Jake is now officially standing. He pulls himself up like a pro and is obviously very proud. I don't think Sam realizes that Jake will one day walk and probably follow him everywhere.

Girls, Girls, Girls

The TV was on this afternoon while Sam and Jake were playing. When I looked up, it was showing a beauty pageant - girls in bikinis and high heels. Sam looked up, but went right back to his Playmobil pirates. Minutes later he asked to put the TV back on the girls. He said with a smirk he liked looking at their 'undies.'

Batman

Sam has a deep attachment to his Batman shirts. The first one isn't really a Batman shirt but an Austin t-shirt with a bat shape on it. This shirt he wore every day last week.

The second is a bonafide Batman shirt, an adult's extra-small bought at a Hot Topic, that has the vintage Batman logo. The 'tail' of the real Batman shirt is so long that, on Saturday, it fell in the toilet when Sam was 'tee-teeing.' Of course I tried to get it off him.

He was sitting on the toilet, his little feet dangling, his bum so low it was also probably touching the water. I was not going to get the shirt off without a fight. I gave up when Sam, sobbing, yelled, "It's not fair to take things from your son!"

He's wearing the shirt today.

Mutha

This weekend Sam had a playdate with his friend Audrey. Before she came Sam and I were reviewing the ground rules: Share toys. Play nicely. Be polite. Be patient.

I told him if he remembered the rules we could do something special (I was thinking of renting movies). Sam asked, "Can I get a tattoo?"

Kids. They grow up so fast these days.

Keeping Up

When I didn't have kids I swore I wouldn't be the parent who tugged at her child's hand, rushing, forcing the child to run to keep up. And then there was last Friday.

It seems the more of a hurry I am in (or need to be in) the slower Sam moves. I think some of it is deliberate. The rest is just the leisurely, distracted, notice-everything attitude of a 3-year-old.
So, back to Friday. Even though I was up nearly two hours before Sam or Bryon and nearly 3 hours before we had to leave the house, we left the house late. Most days are very flexible and as long as we back out of the driveway by 8:03 I make it to work at a reasonable, albeit, slightly late time. But every Friday I have to be at work by 9 .m.

On this Friday we still hadn't left the house at 8:17. When we get to school I realize Sam has taken off his shoes and socks. Then he is angry because he doesn't get to shut the car door. We always drop Jake off first together but because the foyer is blocked we have to take an alternate route through the building. And there I am speed-walking, dragging Sam, Jake flopping, when Sam brings me back to reality (and priorities) by saying, "MOM, you're making me crazy."

Weekend Update

Rasta Man
Sam likes reggae music. He especially likes the Bob Marley staple "Get Up Stand Up." In his new appreciation for manners, however, he asks that you sing it "Please May You Get Up. Please May You Stand Up."

Maybe there is more to this - Sam did call Bryon a pothead the other day.

He Ain't Heavy
Sam and Jake had an especially good weekend. They spent hours playing side by side, sharing toys, giggling, wrestling. After Jake went to bed Sunday, Sam and I had some one-on-one time. I told him he was a good big brother. He said "That word makes me happy." I asked what word. "Brother," he said.

Inspirational Quote

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. -- Mahatma Gandhi

Four Eyes, Four Eyes

I had to wear glasses this morning because my contacts are causing me such grief. Anyway, when I got Sam out of the car at school he asked why I was wearing glasses. I tried to explain. He said I couldn't wear them to work. "Your friends might laugh at you. You look silly." (Insert the sound of a balloon deflating here.)

Suddenly Silly

I have always said that kids are lucky in that they can do or say just about anything and get away with it. We call it being 'suddenly silly.' A child does it, it is spontaneous and cheeky. An adult does it, crazy and unpredictable.

Which brings me to this list of things that would be really annoying if my co-workers did them, but are tolerable and even funny because it's Sam:

1. wears a red cape every day
2. touches me with his feet
3. asks me to look at his poop before flushing
4. points and laughs whenever he sees my butt
5. asks "Poop or pee?" whenever you go to the bathroom
6. comes out of the bathroom with his underpants around his ankles yelling "Hey everybody, I pooped!"

(Yes, a lot of these have to do with poop - such as life when a 3-year-old is present.)

Big D

Eleven years ago today Bryon and I packed up a U-Haul and left Columbia for Dallas. We stopped at Margarita Grill, where we both had worked, to pick up our last paychecks and say goodbye to some friends. Our boss gave us $50. It seemed like a lot of money. Over two days, we drove (with our cats Biscuit and Nash crouching behind the seats) from Columbia to Dallas, stopping in Fort Smith to see Bryon's mom. In the afternoon of the second day we made it to the 5902 Village Glen Drive, where we lived for the next year.

Mr. Sandman

Sam has been going to bed much too late these days. It is not uncommon for him to still be awake and smack in the middle of his second wind at 10 p.m. Last night I first mentioned 'time for bed' at 8:30. Granted, Bryon is out of town so I had to put Sam and Jake to bed by myself. Jake was down at 8:50 and by the time Sam ate, used the potty (a nightly requirement), changed into jammies, brushed teeth, watched Teen Titans, read three books, watched one episode of Scooby Doo (I hate Scrappy, by the way), made one pillow fort, and pitched one fit, it was 10:48.

By 10:52, he was sound asleep.

I let him sleep in my bed since Bryon is out of town. I faked sleep for a few minutes to get him to close his eyes. When he finally quieted down and his breathing became deep and regular, I could tell he was asleep and I opened my eyes. In the dark, with only the bathroom nightlight and my poor, grainy vision, his profile looked exactly the same as it did in one of his earlier sonograms.

Over the River and Through the Woods

The boys and I spent the week at Grandma Becky's with Kristal (Kiki), Tyler, John Wyatt, Meams and Dexter Dog. It was a good vacation for the boys - it has been so hot in Dallas we haven't spent much time outside - but the weather was near perfect. The highlights - we got a lot of fresh air and exercise, and consumed a lot of chocolate lush, my grandma's signature dessert (or chocolate flush as we've come to affectionately call it). We went to the post office, the park, the playground, the movies (March of the Penguins). Sam made a lot of progress learning to swim. The lowpoints? Sam called my sister's dog an asshole and kicked my grandmother. Ah, kids ....

It Takes a Village

We are vacationing at Grandma Becky's this week. There is always someone to take a walk, read a story, play cars or share ice cream. There is always someone willing to rock, someone who has renewed patience. Just the way it should be.

Uncle Mike

We just got word that Uncle Mike, my mother-in-law's only brother, passed away this morning. He was only in his 50s and died unexpectedly at his home in Missouri. I can't say I knew Mike very well, but what I did know was that he was very sweet and kind and quiet. You got the feeling a lot was going on inside that he didn't talk much about. I am sorry for Fran and Margie, his other sister. I'm sure they are feeling a terrible loss.

Funny, Part Two

We are trying to encourage good table manners. We've asked that whenever Sam is ready to leave the dinner table he asks to be excused. This means that Bryon and I have had to brush up on our table manners. We ask to be excused to start cleaning up the kitchen or to get another piece of chicken. Last night, Sam said, "May I be excused to do nothing." That's my boy.

Funny, Part One

I went to a friend's baby shower on Saturday. Someone brought beautiful white and pink petit fours with 'frosting' baby booties. Joslyn (the host) sent one home for Sam. Sunday, after his Chef Boyardee, I gave it to him. He studied it for awhile and began eating it very strategically. He worked his way around the cake until only the sugar booties were left. He saved those for the last bite. Only the paper wrapper was left. Sam looked up at me and said, "This makes my body wiggle."